7 Tips to Handle Dream stealers

June 24, 2015

Are there any naysayers aka Dream stealers in your life?

Someone who is perhaps discouraging you from pursuing your goals and dreams? Someone who is keeping you from achieving your highest potential?

I have faced my fair share of dream stealers and I’d bet you too… right?

How I dealt with Dream stealers in my Life…

There are plenty of them to mention but here are a couple of stories. One of them was my secondary teacher.

He would discourage me and my classmates from aiming too high in life (by too high, I really mean trying to aim anything at all). He also pre-judged each student based on her biased assessment of his/her abilities, then treated the student as such, hence creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Rather than encourage us and inspiring us as a teacher, he was one who did not believe in others dreams and goals.

Another one was my uncle (was because he is not with us anymore). He was in the Royal Navy before and his mindset was like you need to work hard and you cannot have your own business because that’s for the rich guys. He used to settle for averageness and I hated it when my parents left me at their house. As I grew up he focused on getting a job that you get stuck in for 30-40 years like he did. The reality was that he did give up on his dreams (because he had) as he bought someone else’s opinion.

Then in 2011, when the global recession hit I lost my job as a Chef (I studied that profession for 4 years and worked for 13 odd years) to pursue in living on my terms, guess what everyone said NO. A close family member said I would regret it in the future. My best friend said I was crazy. Other people and friends alike, advised me against pursuing my dreams. Some said that my chef career (working over 70+hrs a week for $7 an hour pay) was fantastic and that I would never get such a great job/career in the future. Some said that I was too young and didn’t have the right skills and know-how to achieve results in my new path.

For all the dream stealers I faced in the past and still facing today, I never and will never buy their words and their way of thinking for the simple reason that they where and still are in either same or worse situation that I was. Some lead with fear others lead with faith. I took a leap of faith to start living on my terms and thriving to achieve my goals and dreams.

If you are facing dream stealers, I want you to know that your life is yours and you don’t need other people telling you what to do.

Here are 7 Tips to Handle Dream stealers:

1. Protect your goals from them

Being discouraging and skeptical in nature, they tend to talk about the downsides, what could go wrong and horror stories of the “dangers” surrounding what you plan to do. Every second you spend listening to what they have to say about your goals is just like pouring acid over your dreams. In the end you have to spend extra time and effort to combat the damage they’ve done. It’s not even worth it!

Your goals are too precious to let other people taint them. Protect them. Don’t give dream stealers the opportunity to damage your dreams by not even raising the topic in the first place.

2. Delete the dream stealers from your life (if you can)

If possible, delete the dream stealer from your life. I mean literally erase their phone number, delete them from your social media. Generally dream stealers serve as an obstacle in your life’s possibilities, so spending too much time with them is only going to limit your own potential.

3. Check dream stealers’s profile & background

Have the Dream stealer achieved anything in his/her life? One thing I look at before I consider anyone’s words is how the person is doing in his/her own life. Is this person’s life the kind of life I want to have for myself? Does this person have knowledge and expertise in what he/she is commenting and advising on?

If the answer is no, then he/she doesn’t qualify to be my councilor. After all, this person is where he/she is precisely because of his/her own knowledge, decisions, choices and advice. By following his/her words, it can only get me to where he/she is, and definitely not where I want to go.

4. Ignore them – Tune out

If you’ve evaluated the naysayer’s words and concluded that these are not relevant to your goals, then simply tune out. Just because they say something, doesn’t mean you have to take what they say.

5. Disengage in the discussion

The Dreamstealers are in denial, and they try to teach something or seek any agreement that makes them feel clever. In your replies, keep it simple and short – with “I see”, “Isn’t that interesting” or “Okay”.

Don’t assert your stand, don’t try to probe why he/she said what he/she said, don’t try to explain yourself either. The Dream stealer can come up with all sorts of reasons why he/she is right and why you’re wrong, which is just a waste of time. Switch topic if you have to.

6. Surround yourself with better people

Rather than face negativity, surround yourself with positivity instead. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so choose the best five people you want to spend time around.

7. Think back to your vision and your why

Last but not least, think about your vision and your why. What is your ideal vision for your life and what’s your why? Whenever you get distracted by Dream stealers, it’s only because you’ve taken your eyes off your goals. If that’s the case, all you need to do is to look back at them.

Don’t deny yourself of the life you should live just because of naysayers. At the same time, make sure you’re not being a naysayer to others. This is not a dress-rehearsal but it is your live show! Go Live life on your terms.